Mississippi Teacher Corps

Sunday, February 25, 2007

How bizarre... how bizarre

Back in the fall, I remember telling my mom over the phone about some of my students' recent antics and funny comments. After hearing some of my stories, she commented, "Those kids do some weird things, don't they?" I don't know what's going on lately, or if I'm just imagining things, but the incidence of downright bizarre behavior seems to have spiked in the past few weeks. I'm completely puzzled by some of the stuff the kids have done lately, and a few of these stories are too weird not to share. Cautionary note: if you are at all weak of stomach, skip the last story.

1. Grills.
They are against the school dress code, and have been since the second day of school (the principal noticed some grills the first day of school and subsequently decided to ban them). I've confiscated three grills in the past two weeks, two of which were in the possession of the same kid. This kid really flipped out the second time I confiscated a grill, and we had a 10-minute standoff in the hallway after school when he refused to hand it over to me. I ultimately lead him to the office and convinced him to hand it to the secretary in charge of confiscated items. And yet, this kid acted like I did him a horrible injustice. He loudly complained about the fact that I'd taken his silver AND his gold grill, and each one cost $300. Most recently, I confiscated a grill from another student who pulled it out in the middle of class, stuck it on his teeth, flashed a huge grin, and said, "Smile for me, daddy!" (for those of you missing the reference, that is a line from the Nelly song "Grillz"). When I confiscated the grill from him, he tried to get out of it by claiming that, "it wasn't in my mouth, I just had it in my hand!" The other student said the same thing BOTH times I caught him with a grill in his mouth. And by the way, the last time I checked, didn't the dress code say that we banned grills, not, "students may not wear grills on their teeth"?
Another student stuck gum wrappers on his teeth. I went up to him and told him to take that stuff off his teeth because it looked dumb, to which he tried to tell me, "This is on my teeth permanently!"
I'm reminded of a certain comment that Keisha made to me at lunch one day. "Ms. Long Skirt Blue Jacket, I don't know why all these boys are going around in their grills." I told her that I thought grills looked dumb. She said, "I bet they wear grills because they want to get girls." True words of wisdom, right there. After a pause, she said, "Ms. Long Skirt Blue Jacket, I bet you could find you a husband without a grill." There's a gem I'll remember for a long time.

2. The hot pocket
A few days ago, during homeroom, I walked across my room to open the door, and when I returned to my desk a few seconds later, I found on it a tupperware container with a hotpocket inside. One of my homeroom kids, Demetrius, was standing in front of my desk with a goofy grin on his face, so I asked him what was going on. "This hotpocket was on that desk," he said, pointing to a student desk a few feet away. "It had a note on it that said it's from Antonio and his mom and they want you to have the hotpocket." Looking around the room, I commented, "But Demetrius, Antonio hasn't even come to homeroom yet." He started grinning even more. "I know, that's the funny thing, isn't it?"
One of my students was in the bathroom at the time, so I assumed that the kids were playing a little joke on her and taking away something she'd brought for lunch. When she returned from the bathroom, I asked her if it was her hotpocket, and she told me it wasn't. So, the hotpocket sat on my desk unclaimed for two days before I finally tossed it. I still have no idea what that was all about.

3. The paper towel
One day last week, I was giving a test, and one of my students, Brittany, did everything she could, short of blatantly yelling out, to disrupt the class. She filled in random bubbles on the test and told me within two minutes of receiving the test that she was "finished." I told her that she had to keep checking it over until the period ended, and she should go back and actually READ the questions. She sat there laughing loudly for no apparent reason, and asked me several times if she could go to the bathroom, to which I said no. Then, she asked for a tissue, so I handed her a paper towel. She started blowing her nose very loudly and deliberately making strange sounds. Up until this point, I understood what was going on: she was goofing off, trying to be funny, because the rest of the class likes you when you're funny. But then, her actions took a turn for the truly disgusting: she started EATING the paepr towel! The rest of the class went, "eew!" I showed as little emotion as possible and told everyone else to be quiet. She then asked me, "Do I disgust you?"

It's a strange life I lead.
Now playing: The Rolling Stones- Start me Up


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